Sunday, August 19, 2012

Chocolate Cows

Here's one gem of a news story. With corn prices increasing due to drought, one rancher has taken to feeding his cattle - you will never guess - CANDY! Yes, cheap, second-hand candy, the evolutionary appropriate feed that cows all over the world are designed to metabolise for a healthful life. It's a win/win. The rancher gets to affordably and swiftly fatten his cattle, and candy manufacturers now have a market where they can offload product that is unfit for selling to humans. Indeed, chocolate CAN fix anything.

If you're worried that candy is too unnatural a food for cattle, don't be: the rancher mixes the sweet stuff with good-old ethanol by-product to ensure a balanced diet. These animals will be fit for slaughter in record time. In my opinion, the rancher is missing out on capitalising on a unique selling point. If I were him, I would bottle and market any milk they produce as single-origin chocolate malt. That'd make a killing.


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